Your Brain Isn’t Broken... It’s Ancient

Have you ever stood at the edge of a choice - a job offer, a relationship, signing up for a race - and found yourself strangely stuck?

You’ve weighed the pros and cons, maybe even journaled about it. You know something you need to decide… and yet… you keep circling.

You’re not alone. 

I see this moment often in therapy and in boardrooms alike: the instant just before action, where the stress isn’t about doing the thing but about deciding whether to do it at all.

Why The Mind Hesitates

Your brain wasn’t built for the 21st Century.

It was built for three things: to stay alive, find resources, pass on your DNA. 

Everything else we face is a brand-new experiment for an ancient brain.

Your brain’s main job, the thing it was designed for, was threat detection & prevention. 

To keep you alive, to keep you accepted by the tribe, to keep you away from danger.

That ancient wiring still runs the show.

The same system that once told your ancestors “don’t walk into that dark cave, there could be a bear”, now whispers “don’t send that email… don’t take that leap… what if it goes wrong?”

We call it overthinking.

In reality, it’s survival software mis-firing in a modern world of deadlines, negotiations and tough calls.

Most of what stalls us there isn’t rational calculation at all.. it’s instinct, dressed up as thought.

Here are some of those instinctive “safety strategies” that keep us circling the decision instead of crossing the line:

• Fear of the “wrong” choice - If either outcome carries risk of rejection or regret, the psyche buys time by avoiding the choice altogether.

• Intolerance of uncertainty - Staying undecided feels safer than stepping into the unknown.

• All-or-nothing thinking - “If I can’t make the perfect choice, I’ll delay it.”

• Preserving self-esteem - Not choosing means we can’t fail, so we avoid the sting of shame or criticism.

• Inner Critic dominance - That hyper-critical voice magnifies every possible consequence of a mis-step.

• Fear of displeasing others - Choosing one path may feel like letting someone down.

• Relational preservation & conflict-projection - Remaining undecided can (briefly) maintain harmony or prevent imagined fallout.

• Waiting for the ‘perfect’ future moment - “I’ll act when I feel 100% ready”… which rarely comes.

• Old scripts - If early experiences taught us that initiative brings punishment or rejection, our nervous system quietly taps the brakes.

Most of these forces operate below the level of conscious thought.

And they’re the echoes of a brain built to keep you alive, not necessarily to keep you moving forward.

The real work isn’t forcing a decision

If you’ve ever tried to bully yourself into action - “Come on, just do it already!” - you’ll know how quickly that backfires.

What tends to help more is lowering the inner threat signal so the thinking brain can come back online.

That might mean:

• Naming the fear out loud (it often shrinks when spoken).

• Reminding yourself that discomfort ≠ danger.

• Making the first step so small that it feels almost silly.

• Grounding your body: slow your breath, lengthen the exhale, feel your feet on the ground.

• Re-framing the choice as an experiment, not a final verdict on who you are.

At the heart of it all is self-understanding: the better you know what tends to trip your threat signal - the stories, the sensations, the old scripts - the sooner you can reassure it and steer yourself back into choice.

That’s the quiet skill behind decisive people.

It isn’t that they never feel fear; it’s that they’ve learned to recognise their inner alarms for what they are… signals, not stop signs.

A Final Thought

If you’re circling a decision right now, pause long enough to listen for what part of you is trying to keep you safe.

Give that part a nod of thanks, then give your thinking brain the space it needs… a breath, a name for the fear, a first step so small it feels almost playful.

Most forward movement doesn’t come from waiting until we feel ready.

It comes from moving while a part of us still wants to stay put, and discovering, step by step, that we can handle more than we feared.

Curious how ancient instincts still drive your team’s choices under pressure?